Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The DRAFT

And the first pick of the Draft is...



He's  back!!! 



Not really though. But I am going to attempt a live draft blog to preserve memories. 

And goodnight. 

PS - Now Prader and Yarnold are watching ABC Family. It changed to a Dolly Parton Movie. STEEL MAGNOLIAS!

9:41 - And its all over. Draft Grades will come out in the next couple days. Remember, watch out for Thursday games. Thanks for at least showing up. 

9:35 - Prader and Yarnold are watching Sex in the City. Seriously. 

9:33 - The blog has grinded to a halt. I was looking up the most random 15th rounder i could find. Leonard Hankerson it is....


9:13 - Kellen Winslow, my least favorite non-Steelers NFL player, is gone...tear. 

8:59 - its a tight race for the al davis award between the linguists for a Def in the 8th, me for a TE in the 4th, or Shust for taking watermelon head rapelisberger at all...

8:49 - "Who took Beanie Wells? His is a piece of crap." - me

8:39 - The internet cuts out and everyone simultaneously panics for 6 seconds until it came back. 

8:35 - After the Roethlisberger pick..

Pat - The fat garden gnome
Travis - I hate his face. 
Me -Barf

8:29 - Who is SackedBySuggs again? - Pat (for the 8th time)

8:23 - Gates in the 4th - I am the frontrunner for the Davis award. 

8:15 - The Draft


8:12 - While some are shocked that Brees still remains on the board, Pat explains that it is because he is 4.5 feet tall

8:08 - Matt shows his true colors with his Brady man-crush




8:06 - Nate takes the plunge. Boom or bust....

8:01 - First QB off the board is not Vick. A sign of league intelligence?

8:01 - The linguists takes CJ2K despite the holdout and Balls goes homer...

8:00 - A CACOPHONY OF SOUNDS! and we are off....The first three picks are EARTH SHATTERING!!

7:57 - John Shust - "I am ready to FUCK SHIT UP" 

7:55 - Le Toux Legit 2 Quit - A reference to the Other football, like with your feet. For that reason, and the fact that Sebastien Le Toux is French, make my team name wildly inappropriate, and therefore ironic. 

Football Relevance -  -5/10
Cleverness - 11/10
Badassness - 2/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 7/10


7:51 - Fell of my Dinosaur - "Last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell of my dinosaur" - Step Brothers. Another fantastic pop culture reference, though thankfully Pat was here to remind me. 

Football Relevance - 2/10
Cleverness - 8/10
Badassness - 9/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 8/10


7:49 - SackedBySuggs - Another homer pick name from the Charm City. Likely to happen quite often this season, hoopefully to Ben Rapelisberger most often...

Football Relevance - 10/10
Cleverness - 10/10
Badassness - 10/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 10/10 -RAVENS!!!!!!




7:47 - Update to Balls & Shaft - From Josh



7:43 - Yarnold's F'ing Team - Maybe Yahoo would not let Matt us the actual word Fuck. I don't know. This name is a direct response to me calling him a woman for leaving his name Team Yarnold. 

Football Relevance - 1/10
Cleverness - 1/10
Badassness - 1/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 1/10

FAIL. 


7:40 - Balls & Shaft - I am not really sure what Josh is going for with his name except to make us all think of penises? Or is it penii?

Football Relevance - 2/10
Cleverness - 8/10
Badassness - 9/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 3/10 - unless you like penises


7:37 - Buffalo Renaissance - A homer-pick name for a man unlucky enough to be raised in the Buffalo Bills market. Go Fred Jackson!!!

Football Relevance - 10/10
Cleverness - 6/10
Badassness - 6/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 7/10


7:32 - Bring It On! - An excellent Family Guy reference with an unfortunate tie to a particular Kirsten Dunst movie. 



Football Relevance - 5/10
Cleverness - 8/10
Badassness - 3/10 (due to unfortunate kirsten dunst similarity)
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 7/10


7:27 - Mr. McGibblets - Another reference from The League, though not as disgusting in nature. Mr McGibblets is this guy:




Football Relevance - 8/10
Cleverness - 8/10
Badassness - 6/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 8/10



7:24 - Vinegar Strokes - An excellent pop culture reference stemming from The League. Vinegar strokes are the last few motions of the sexual act before a man orgasms where he cares less what could happen around/to him. 

Football Relevance - 8/10
Cleverness - 8/10
Badassness - 9/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 10/10

Excellent work Travis


7:19 - Cunning Linguists - A clever play on words which immediately incites mental pictures that are NSFW. Luckily the mean age for this league is probably 29, and therefore at least 6 of us get the joke. 

Football Relevance - 0/10
Cleverness - 9/10
Badassness - 8/10
Overall Aesthetic Appeal - 9/10

Pizza is here. 

7:13pm - Pat and Travis are playing squash, but should be here any minute. Yarnold is MIA with the pizza. In the meantime I will be adding a team by team name review. 

7:06pm - Shust is safe and sound in NJ, along with Josh. Paul is ready to go in NY, and Prader, Dubbs and I are at TheNutHouse doing some last minute prep. In some cases, this is first minute prep...Direct quote from Shust - "Am I first?"



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