Tuesday, November 8, 2011

9/14ths of the way through the season and 5/14ths left...

A whole lot to catch-up on...I am going to try to bring this blog back...

First and foremost, a long overdue congratulations to Pat (Fell Off My Dinosaur) and his wife Julia on the birth of their son, Ryan. Already a diehard Eagles fan, Ryan immediately recommended that his dad throw in the towel on this season and start trading for keepers...

A little dude this cute takes away the pain of being 0-9. Congrats Pat!

Second, a whole herd of 


Allegedly a costume, but she just looks like a hoe

"This is what I call a Target Rich environment..."

"Shit. Forgot deodorant. Just keep smiling..."

"A whole new woooorllllddddd"

yeah. that just happened. 

Straight from the luge to the field

"America! F*ck Yeah!"

And this weeks winner of the Cheerleader of the Week, Madelyn Abrahams. Madelyn, a 23 year old quantum mechanics major from Stanford, got her start cheerleading at the age of 7.

on being a female in a man's world:
"Being a strong-willed intelligent female, growing up in the Texas football atmosphere was hard, but I think it paid off in the end. I mean, high school was a joke and I got a full scholarship to college for basically working out. I skipped three grades, aced the SATs and ACTs and was inducted into Mensa at 16, but none of that even mattered to the entrance people at Stanford. It's weird that I am so smart though. My mom, she couldn't even spell Madeline. She swears she was being original and she qualifies it with 'Honey, it was the 70s' but seriously I think she got kicked by a mule or something. I was born in 1988 "

on her time with the Cowboys:
"Now that I am with the Cowboys, I make seven figures. Seriously. It should not come as a surprise. Have you see the gigantic phallic symbol that is the new stadium? Jerry Jones is ridiculous. One time he stopped to talk to us and I asked for his opinion on the European debt crisis and how that may affect the sports industry both in Europe and the United States given the recent in-flux of American investment into European football clubs , but he just smacked my ass and said 'Let the men handle the business, toots.' I don't think he knows where Europe is."

Awards and Comments

There are just too many awards to give out. People scored points. Other people didn't. There are a few things worth pointing out... 

Yarnold (Brady's Bunch as of print 11.8.2011) is on like his 17th team name, each worse than the previous.  By the end of the season, I expect a name so inane and irritating that I would rather pour battery acid in my eyes than read it all day Sunday. 

Prader is just getting repeatedly and viciously savaged by everyone in terms of Points Against. He has an incredible 300 more points against than yours truly, who completely non-coincidentally is in first place. 

Somehow McGibblets has established himself as a force to be reckoned with, while SackedBySuggs is a two horse show with Welker and Rodgers. 

Fell Off My Dinosaur is setting an amazing example for the rest of us, still making moves, still trying to win, despite his incredible record of 0-9. I have never seen anything like it...

Balls and Shaft has snuck up into a tie for 1st place with a crafty trade and some last minute heroics. Meanwhile, like his beloved Bills, Buffalo Renaissance has started to slip...will he regain his footing in time to make a playoff push? Not with Andre Johnson out....

Cunning Linguists. Enough said. 

Vinegar Strokes is getting comfy on top of the waiver list, though tomorrow may be that day that changes. You never know...


I would like to thank Buffalo Renaissance for taking me to the Bills game this weekend. I have to admit it was a pretty crazy time in the parking lots, and would have been a perfect day if they could have put down the Jets, but alas it was not to be. Thankfully the Ravens showed up and beat down the Steelers Sunday night, restoring joy to my life. 

Pat, Nate, Shust and Trav - You guys still owe me $$$. 

There is a Thursday game this week, so get your shit together early. Also, the trade deadline is next Friday.
Josh has recommended I remind everyone that only FOUR teams make the playoffs, so if you are not in the top 4, and you want to be there (who doesnt want to be me?) then you might want to consider making some moves. 

Also, reread the keeper rules just so no one drops a first rounder who is on IR, allowing someone else to wait for them to go to Free Agency and then grab them, taking advantage of an obvious loop hole in the rules and keeping that guy while only having to give up a 10th round pick. 

Example A: Jamaal Charles.