Friday, December 28, 2012

Max got ahead of himself...

Next year Max, you can do what you want with the Iron Lady
Next year...

Josh you may want to wipe her off...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Ten Reasons Why I am Glad I Didn't Make the Playoffs

For the first time since 2006, I am not in the playoffs in my fantasy league. I will address this atrocity in later on, but first:

Ten reasons why I am happy I did not make the playoffs



  1. I am finally free of the overwhelming burden of getting up Sunday morning and dedicating at least 7 minutes to updating my roster. I have a busy schedule, and the massive time requirement that is updating your lineup can get in the way.
  2. At the IIS  holiday party, the conversation will be able to move past fantasy football and focus on bitching about our boss.
  3. I do not feel obligated to refresh the Yahoo app on my phone every 3 minutes all day long on Sunday. More time on Pinterest.
  4. The holidays are crazy enough without the added stress of seeing Aaron Rodgers out performed every week by RG3. 
  5. I can finally catch up on Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl.
  6. Unlike all you Eagles fans, I still have real football to fall back on...
  7. It's important to make everyone feel like they have a chance at winning every year. Domination breeds disinterest. That's why everyone hates the Cowboys. They were too good for too long back when it was the Aikman/Smith/Irvin show. That, and they are just terrible human beings.
  8. I do not have to deal with the Fantasy vs. Real Football debate - Do I want Mike Wallace to do well? NOT ANYMORE. I hope Ben Roethlisberger's arm falls off and Mike Wallace has an embarrassing, tear-filled public breakdown about how he just cannot play on the same team as Charlie Batch.
  9. The intense pain of losing goes up exponentially in the playoffs. 
  10. I am happy to give up my spot in the playoffs if John Shust manages to make it in and wins because then I will be given the wonderful opportunity to make up some sort of "Giant" related reference to a terrible team squeaking by and then winning everything, and also Shust being a Giant. 
Guess which one is Shust? Answer at the bottom of the page.



COW





Indianapolis Colts Cheerleader Sinead McDonnell 

If you ask her, Sinead McDonnell will tell you she was born in Ireland. This is not true. In fact she was born in Williston, North Dakota, and her name was Martha Henderson. Like all things from North Dakota (sentient or not), Martha was boring. Her parents were boring, her school was boring and he life sucked. The only retreat, the only salvation in her boring, North Dakota life was the Sinead O'Connor CD she ordered as one of her free 10 CDs for signing up for BMG Music. (The ensuing membership bills drove her family to financial ruin, as they only had enough money to survive in ND). Needing to get away, Martha drew inspiration from her idol Sinead, she left ND, changed her name to Sinead McDonnell (didn't want to totally copy), and moved to beautiful Indiana. The rest as they say, is history. 

During the interview for this article, Sinead was shown a picture of present day Sinead to which she replied "Fuck me. This is not going to work anymore." Thankfully a follow up picture of Natalie Portman post "V for Vendetta" brought her back from the ledge.

Sinead




Natalie and a Storm Trooper

*Disclaimer - This cheerleader did a great thing shaving her head in honor of Chuck Pagano, who is recovering my some pretty intense treatment for cancer. I am not making fun of her, Chuck, cancer, or anything else people are sensitive to. Mostly I am making fun of North Dakota and Sinead O'Connor.    No North Dakotans were harmed in the writing of this blog, as there are no North Dakotans who have internet. 



The Iron Curse

As the season comes to a close for six of us, I really want to take a little time and reflect on what the hell happened to Dammit Jim I'm a Dr. This team had a very high preseason rating according to the totally impartial league commissioner. The pieces of the puzzle were all there, and weeks 1-4 had things looking excellent for me and my squad. I was 3-1, my only loss coming to the incumbent champion by a mere 4 points. Then something happened. Some will tell you I overstepped my bounds by commenting on my own team in a positive manner during the draft grade recap. Others will say it was a lack of humility in general. But let's be honest, my team was pretty solid. 

No, the collapse of my team coincided directly with the arrival of the Iron Lady from across the pond. The package arrived the week of my humiliating loss to Buffalo Renaissance. When that package arrived on my doorstep, my team fell apart. Despite some seemingly favorable trades, I still could not turn things around. I mean, Rodgers was putting up 30+ points every week until I got him. Now he sucks. McFadden is hurt, and NO ONE saw that coming. 

The Curse of the Iron Lady has befallen me. Had I smartly gotten the plaques installed and mailed her right away to her current rightful owner, Josh, I would have turned things around. But I procrastinated and delayed, and I am paying the price dearly. Here we are, 3 weeks from completion of the season, and I am ashamed to say that I still have her sitting here right behind me. She is laughing at me, just like Thatcher used to laugh...

Hysterical. Really. 

This serves as my public admittance of guilt and apology to Josh, the league, all of Fantasy Football, and the Cosmos. I should have mailed the trophy out and did not cause I am as lazy as CunningLinguists before game time and I couldn't be bothered. I have paid a dear, dear price, as this is the only way to explain how I ended up where I am today. 

Playoff Picture


We have two teams who have clinched, Suggs and Swanson. The interesting fight is between Brady, Buffalo, and the Brotherhood for the last two spots. I am doing my part, starting my best lineup against Buffalo despite the fact that I would do better to throw the game and try to improve my draft pick (that is illegal by the way). That means that yes, I think Cleveland's defense will do well today. Moving on....

Brady has a trap game against Vinegar Strokes and Arian drew the tough matchup against Suggs. If I had to make a prediction, I think it will be Arian and Brady because Brady has way more points than Buffalo, my apology will right the ship and allow me to win, Arian will win over Suggs because only he has the power to make other teams do shitty (1500 pts against?), and Vinegar just has the worst luck.  



Good luck everyone but Josh!






Answer: The one in the white dress. You fruitcake.  

Thursday, November 15, 2012

You know what was the best?

As I was walking Max tonight (yes Pat, walking, not running) I decided to listen to a little music. After a block of debating/nearly walking into trees while staring at my phone, I settled on the album "Siamese Dream," by the Smashing Pumpkins. To jog your memory, this is the album with "Today", "Disarm" and of course, "Cherub Rock." So as we are walking and listening, I pondered just how amazing this album is. In middle/high school, it was life-alteringly amazing, and it still stirs up emotions. This got me started thinking about all the other things from before the year 2000 that were just totally fucking awesome. Said list begins here:

1. Toaster Strudel (1994) - Some guy was like you know what, Pop-Tarts? Fuck you. I am done with your super burnt edges, tongue-scalding filling and crappy plastic-y icing. I am going to make a make a new breakfast treat with flaky crust and awesome filling. Then I am going to cover it in fucking icing and call it a strudel. Suck it.

God bless that guy.


2. 90s Alternative and the associated music videos - 90's alt rock has to be one of the greatest music periods of all time. I realize that music videos are still made today, but back in like '95, I think they about peaked. Some classics from that magical time period that jump to mind are below. Feel free to watch or skip. Some music to listen whilst you read, perhaps?

1995 - Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins (yes more)



1997 - Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters





1997 - Semi Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind






1996 - Don't Speak - No Doubt





1995 - Santa Monica - Everclear




3. 1998 - Wearing khakis and a plain grey t-shirt every day. Correction - Gap Khakis and a plain grey Gap t-shirt. 






4. 1999 - "I know Kung Fu"

Yes the Matrix was probably one of the most influential and dare I say, seminal movies of our generation. Not only did it revolutionize moving making at the time, but it made it totally OK to be a nerd again, and I know there are some legit nerds in this group who know what I am talking about. Keanu Reeves, who already had a special place in all of hearts from the "excellent" combination of Bill and Ted, Point Break, and Speed, totally sealed the deal here. Then for extra insurance, he was the subject of one of the greatest internet trends of all time. 

Sit. Eat. Sad. 

Obviously the list of movies could go on forever, so let's just say this - I would be surprised if your favorite all-time movies are not in this list. 

Matrix. Dumb and Dumber. Home Alone. Usual Suspects. Goldeneye. American Pie. Scream. Point Break. Groundhog Day. Jurassic Park. Something About Mary. Terminator 2. Pulp Fiction. Swingers. Reservoir Dogs. Nightmare Before Christmas. Total Recall. Good Will Hunting. Seven. Braveheart. Mortal Kombat. Forrest Gump. American Beauty. Independence Day. Clueless. From Dusk Til Dawn. Desperado. Speed. Clerks. Fight Club. Titanic. Basic Instinct. Shawshank Redemption. 

5. "...I'm always ready...I won't let you out of my sight....."

Baywatch. The show was thin on plot, heavy of drama, and abounding with breasts. The formula was so simple, and repeated literally every week, but we all watched it anyways. Look what came out of the show...

Nicole Eggert
Yasmine Bleeth
Donna D'Erico
Pamela Anderson
Gina Lee Nolan
Erika Eleniak
Carmen Electra
and...

The Hoff



Other notable TV shows include: Seinfeld (they're real and they're spectacular!), Boy Meets World (Topanga made lips attractive to boys, and we had NO IDEA WHY), Saved by the Bell (Jessie on speed episode is the G.O.A.T.), Captain Planet, Power Rangers (Why was the asian Ranger yellow, and how hot was the Pink Ranger?), GUTS, American Gladiators (Assault anyone?), Home Improvement, Fresh Prince, X-Files, That 70s show (when Mila Kunis was just annoying, not annoying and super-hot), Dawsons Creek, Renegade, Xena/Hercules, ER, 7th Heaven (only cause of Jessica Beal), 


6. CD Burners - These things changed the mix tape game. No more listening to the radio trying to record a song. No more rewinding. Do you need the that list of songs for the case? Nope! just write on the CD with a marker. Nevermind that you could only write at like 2x, and 9 out of 10 times the CD didnt work. It was still amazing. 


7.  Umbros - These shorts allowed so much freedom it was ridiculous. Combined with a pair of boxers and basically you were just floating in the breeze. Movement was amazing. Any color you wanted, and bonus! chicks looked great in them too. 



8. A complete lack of Facebook. 

9. Drew Barrymore Playboy Spread -  pre-Never Been Kissed

Back in the day, Drew Barrymore was exactly the crazy wild child you would expect considering her family and all that. Now she is tamed it down a bit, minus that marriage to Tom Green, and is cranking out one or two rom-coms a year to pay the bills. But old Drew....super hot. I distinctly recall stealing this playboy from my Dad (If you're reading this Dad, sorry)


Kristy Swanson (OG Buffy) would have made the list, but that was 2002. 

10. When you dressed like a nerd, you were just a nerd. Now you're an edgy hipster...






Monday, November 5, 2012

WARNING! THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN POLITICAL DISCUSSION

The views are that of the author and in no way represent the view of University City FAC.

Yes this is going to be a full fledged rant and I don't even know where it's going, but I will try to put some laughs in. If you do not want to hear my thoughts, then skip this week. Hopefully I will be back with a fantasy football related entry by Sunday.

So why am I stepping up onto my soapbox? Because I can. So in no particular order...these things make me angry.

1. I am so sick of political commercials. Stupid debate delayed Grey's Anatomy a whole week...

I have been assaulted with debates, political commercials, newspaper endorsements, and Union-purchased signs on the side of the road for this candidate or that. People are constantly complaining about being subjected to all this propaganda. Facebook, G+, and Twitter are all a buzz about how intrusive these things are into our lives.

Sorry Josh. It was the best example. Now on with my ranting via social media...


I agree, these commercials and 24/7 coverage are the worst. Commercials for competing candidates generally directly contradict each other while scary statistics and grainy, unflattering pictures warn us against putting our faith in the dark (aka other) side.

Someone has to be lying, maybe both.

The mistake is that we assume the purpose of a political commercial is relay information that may sway us in our decisions. In my opinion this is only true in the context that many, many people are single issue voters, and if they associate a name with a person who agrees with them on this issue, then that is a vote won.

Otherwise, I feel the purpose of political commercials is to plant the tiniest seed of familiarity in our brains, so that when we go into the voting booth, maybe we don't vote party line because we saw that commercial with an intelligent looking Bob Menendez talking to children in an elementary school and he looked like a nice guy. If that wasn't the case, then why wouldn't candidates list their party affiliation in their commercials? I cannot think of one commercial I have seen where a guy was like "Yo I am a republican and I am fucking proud of it!" or vice versa.

So of course these commercials annoy us. We are reasonably intelligent humans who innately dislike being pandered to and being equated with those who would be easily swayed. Be proud you are annoyed, and pray that the people you believe will be the best for your state and your country picked the right heartstrings to tug...

No reason to talk about it. Give us more instagrammed food pics!



2. People who say "Both candidates are so bad...I am just not going to vote." or alternatively, "I just don't know enough to make an informed decision, so I am not going to vote."



With the exception of the presidential election, I have to believe the general level of complete ignorance among voters is absolutely staggering. I can only speak for myself, but I know little beyond the presidential election this year. There is so much going on and I just cannot find the time to sit down and educate myself about the candidates I will be deciding between. The scary thing is that I consider myself to be on the more responsible end of the citizenship scale.

Luckily my guilt, or my civic duty, is forcing me to stay up tonight and finish this blog post, then immediately do the research required to make an informed decision at least regarding the Senate and House elections. Meh - it's getting late. Maybe tomorrow morning...

So yeah, please don't vote. That totally helps. Although, I cannot say I like the idea of people blindly voting any better (ala the old MTV Rock the Vote Campaign).

Yeah Man! Rock the Vote! We don't even care who for...just vote man! It's fucking awesome!

I guess a shirt that says "Learn about the candidates and then make an informed voting decision, or suffer the consequences for the foreseeable future in total and utter silence" 
doesn't have the same appeal. 


Here is the worst of it....#dontvote

Prove YOU'RE not an idiot, Jeremiah, and put your face under an operating lawnmower



3. Associating things like the Presidential election with entertainment personalities, like Jay-Z and Springsteen. 




Honestly, I bet Bruce and HOV can carry on one of the most intelligent political debates you would hear. But should a picture of Obama with them really get tagged as #Election2012? Stick to pictures of your cat napping...just as relevant to the election.

Better...



4. Guy on train 1: "Obama did not fix any of the problems in this country when we was president. In fact they got worse!"
Guy on train 2 "That's because congress couldn't work together because no one would risk their re-election campaign by reaching across the aisle to make the good ideas happen."


This is a real conversation I was subjected to on the train today (hence the blog). It went on for 20 minutes or so, but this is the best part. Both parts of this annoy me, but Guy #2 is the worst. First, regarding Guy #1...where is the great impartial problem status reporter who gives us a ruling on the trends of our problems? We only know what we are told, what we see or hear, and this is selectively given to us, and we selectively hear it. We are not privy to all the details regarding everything in this country, so how the hell do we know whether things got worse or better or what? The American economy and social structure are complex living things that are constantly changing. They are subject to influences from all directions and in all forms, and to associate one effect with one cause while ignoring the rest is generally folly. (There are notable exceptions)

Now, regarding Guy #2, this is where I just get pissed off. What are the good ideas? Are you the good idea judge? Do you have better ideas than those stupid Senators? Can you perfectly distinguish with absolute certainty what is a good idea and what isn't? Not talking opinions here. I mean FACT. 

Well if so, get off your fucking ass, quit your minimum wage job as a barista or a bank teller or whatever and go run for the Senate. They are waiting for you. Yeah, most of these guys and gals have dedicated their lives to politics. They are highly intelligent people who have way more on their plate than we realize, but they are betting you're the solution...

Let's use the Affordable Care Act as an example. Republicans felt strongly that at least some parts of Obamacare were bad ideas so they fought it for years.  Do you expect me to believe that deep down, all of Congress really thinks its a great idea, but the republican congressman just need to please their moronic constituency? Or is it maybe possible that there were some things about Obamacare that were in fact NOT good ideas. 

Here you go Guy #2 - Read the bill and just highlight the good ideas for me, and circle the bad ones in red please. Yeah, I know it is 974 pages long. Get that back to me by Wednesday morning...


The point is that it is not a simple reach across the aisle and it's not black and white. There is nothing clear cut about our legislative process. But it is a fuckload better than a dictatorship. 

And speaking of our system of government...

5. #SeparationOfChurchAndState


So Mitt Romney is a Morman. That means he is totally batshit crazy right? There are entire websites about this. 

Did you know that Obama subscribes the "Jesus, take the wheel" mindset? In the end of the day God is in control, and his main responsibility is to love God.


Do I really believe that Mitt believes every part of the book of Morman is totally literal? No. Do I believe that Obama really believes his chief responsibility is to just sit around and love God? No. Do I believe that both of these guys are good men who love their family and their country? Yes. 



In conclusion...

The big thing that drives me nuts about elections is that we are faced with one of the most difficult decisions people ever have to make. Ourselves versus others. I think that every election comes down to this at the core. The candidates will be pushing policies that you feel either benefit, harm or at least directly influence you or your immediate family, and in the end, it drives the choice about your vote. 

I am talking about people. Human beings. Human beings are imperfect. We are often soft, weak-willed, selfish, stubborn and myopic. Obviously there are exceptions, but these traits are common throughout our species. We take the easy road. We weigh everything considering our own situation. What have you done for us lately? Why does this matter to me?

This is the human condition, and it is a reality of which I know I am guilty. So is this guy...


I honestly cannot decide if I find the above post offensive or annoying or just so honest and close to home that it makes me uncomfortable. Either way I am voting tomorrow for the guy that I think will be best for this country, its people, and for me. If you're lucky, there might be a live election coverage blog - dependent on Comcast finally restoring service.



#WillMcAvoy2012

Diversity. Freedom and Freedom. Yosemite. 


#MittRomneyStyle



no Obama video even compares to that one for laughs...so that'll be it. 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

CunningLinguists gets hitched...


No blog this week. Congrats to Nate and Kim! Have fun in Costa Rica...

If anyone wanted to trade with Nate, talk to me. I have control while he is gone. FIRESALE!!!!!!!



Saturday, October 27, 2012

The power of the MEME

So this week we had a pretty classic email chain at work that involved pretty much all the standard memes that are floating around. Since I am staggering in a barren desert, bereft of blog ideas, I am going to let the memes do the talking for me...

Look Matt! Pictures!




Way to be Paul...



5 moves all season....maybe one comment. 


*sigh*



hopefully Greg Jennings will fix you right up...


You guarded that thing with your life for weeks...




fortunately, that did not occur.




Nate - you have been warned.





Bitter? I am NOT bitter. Congrats on your win, Matt. Seriously. 



Pat heart Yoda. 



4-0 to 4-3? hmmm....




That's it for this week. Or is it?










Sunday, October 21, 2012

Variety is the Spice of Life

How boring would the world be if every girl were the same? More importantly, how boring would the world be if soccer was the only sport? 

maybe not that terrible...

NO it would suck. Variety is critical, particularly in an age where our attention spans last all of 12 seconds. There are people in this league who would openly and proudly state that they do not and will not read books because it takes too long and they can just watch TV. Twitter lets us say things and read things in 140 characters or less, because 200 characters (aka TWO SENTENCES) is too much.

We crave variety, and fortunately for us, fantasy football is no exception. We play by a uniform set of rules, but after that, how we do it is totally up to us. We have some people who put in a lot of hours studying stats and data. Some people read everything they can on the interblogs. Some people just look at the predictions on Yahoo. Some people wait each week for a nasty email from the Commish about updating their team. Some of us have so much to say that we write our own blog. 

One place where we all have different mindsets is in how to trade. You need not look past the fact that there have been NO trades this season as proof. Well, it could just be that people are too lazy or uninterested to trade, but I know of several trade efforts that have gone around and never come to fruition because of irreconcilable differences. Maybe if we all try to understand all the trading personalities that are out there, we may have more success in the future. Any reference to actual people  or teams in this league is purely coincidental. 


What type of trader are you?

The Used Car Salesman

MO: The used-car salesman offers up old, has-been players supported by hollow promises and meaningless guarantees in the hopes that nostalgia may win out. He preys on impulse buying by owners, providing what seems to be a good deal on the surface, but is predicated on distant pass success. The buyer wants so bad to believe that the old rust bucket still has a little magic left, and the used car salesman tries to make them. 

Example Trade: Randy Moss for literally anyone in the league. 

Someone offered me a trade - me for Justin Blackmon....hmmmmm.....I used to be good....



The Statistician 

MO: Stats can tell any story that you, if you find the right ones. The statistician will attempt to exploit this fact to push through what is a universally seen as a shitty trade offer. Typically the trade offer comes with some seemingly eye-opening statistics meant to blind the trade partner from the real facts. You might see something like this - "He's averaged 13 points a game this season, 14+ in the last 4 games. Looking at all RB/WR/TE and their averages, he is in the top 70. Considering we have to start 7 people at those positions each week, that makes him a must start in my opinion. He's top 5/6 in TE's, depending on how you look at it."

Yes there it is - depending on how you look at it. The key phrase for the statistician. Watch for this. 

Example Trade: #5 overall TE Kyle Rudolph for  #8 overall TE Jimmy Graham (ranks depend on how you look at it)



Some random things come up when you Google Image Search "statistician."



The King Theoden

MO: King Theoden lets them come to him. He does not meet halfway. He does not converse. He does not instigate. If shit gets bad, he takes all his people he retreats to Helm's Deep. This is effectively baiting then enemy into walking into a trap. In Fantasy Football terms, the King Theoden will announce via message board, the trading block, email or whatever that they are open to trades for various players. Typically this will include all of their studs, their keepers, and their shitty players. Then they sit back and wait. If they feel adventurous they may say something like "I want a WR" but nothing more. Let the fools come, and I shall SMITE down their offers and undermine their self-esteem until they accept a less-than-stellar trade offer. Passive-aggressive is the name of the game. Note that there is a general undertone of laziness here as well. 

Example Trade: 
Team X put the following people on the trading block: Everyone
Team X wants a RB, but none of the ones that you will offer are adequate. 

Just try an offer me a trade. I am asking you to. Really, I am. Can't you tell?


The Venture Capitalist (aka Scrooge McDuck)

MO: The Venture Capitalist, or VC, offers you an cash investment in exchange for some return on investment down the line. They accept the lion-share of the risk, but they will reap the majority of the benefits. Typically the trade offers seem to good to be true at the moment. You're being offered solid dependable performers for the flyer pick on your bench and a stud. The VC focuses on the risk of the flyer pick, how they are hoping for big things down the line in the playoffs, and how you could use the dependable performance to even have a shot. VCs are typically already rich, meaning they have a solid team and are in the top half of the standings. In reality, the VC is going for the stud. They have the depth to pass you two dependable players for the stud, but the flyer offers a distraction. 

Example Trade: Steven Jackson and Nate Burleson for AJ Green and Alshon Jeffery


"I'm doing YOU a favor here pal"


The Jerry Macguire

MO: Help me help you! The Jerry Macguire assesses the trade in depth and presents it in a light of the greatest good to all involved. Team A has this weakness and Team B has that weakness and with a simple trade both of these weaknesses can be addressed. This is similar to the VC, except that typically players will all be on a relatively similar level, and the discussion focuses on honest benefit to both teams. The Jerry will try to hide potential issues with their players, be it injury potential, strength of schedule etc, and will similarly not focus on perceived weaknesses of the players they are taking. Jerry knows what he is getting into. The critical issue with any Jerry Macguire trade is the manner in which the owners assign value to their players. In this respect, Jerry Macguire moonlights as a statistician, bending the stats to portray approximately equal value to both teams. 

Example Trade: Roddy White and Owen Daniels for Jamaal Charles and Jimmy Graham. 

"Show me the the Greatest Good for all parties involved!"

 

As Good as it Gets Guy (AGGG)

MO:  The AGGG offers a ridiculous trade. When it is rejected, he offers an even worse trade, which is also subsequently rejected. The cycle continues until the offer is so bad that the first offer begins to look good. You want to make a trade, so you start to reconsider the initial offer. The AGGG attempts to take advantage of your desire to make a trade to improve your team. He is patient, but takes a hard line. The first offer is as good as it gets. 

Example Trade: Dwayne Bowe for Felix Jones, then Dwayne Bowe for Frank Gore, then Dwayne Bowe for Ray Rice, then Dwayne Bowe for Felix Jones. 


"You make me want to be a better trader"





If you guys have any others, send them along and I will add them. 







Sunday, October 14, 2012

I really do not have a lot of specific things to talk about this week, so who knows where this is going to go. Josh was kind enough to send us another rant which I will include at some point, but FIRST...

Championship Trophy Update!



The Iron Lady survived her trip across the Atlantic and is currently getting a facelift and spa treatment at the Korean Trophy place across Cheltenham Ave. from my house. The little old Korean lady at the shop was very entertained by Josh's team name from last year - Balls and Shaft. As early as the end of next week, she will be making the journey to Jersey City where she will reside until February. Josh - sorry about the short tenure at your house...make it count cause it's not going to extend any longer. 



Upsetting the Natural Balance...

So in case you missed it, Josh commented that my blog "upset the natural balance of the league." Now, my personal opinion is that this comment alone has doomed Josh's team to failure this year so I am personally pretty excited. The veiled arrogance cannot be ignored. We aren't talking about drafts here - that's a different story. 

Essentially, what Josh was saying was that the rich should get richer while the middle class should suffer, and Nate should stop accepting government handouts and get a damn job. Obama 2012!

The good thing about this comment is that it brought Pat out of his Cone of Silence and got a discussion going about my draft grades. I have been super busy with work, but have been looking forward to this all week. Here is a brief summary of Pat's criticisms of my comments:

1. My battered QBs are doing ok so far this season, huh? 
So the comment I made was that you adopted all of the battered QBs from LAST SEASON. When you picked up Manning it was clear that he was not taking any snaps all season. Schaub missed the last 6 games of the season with the Lisfranc injury he got when Fatty Haynesworth fell on him. So yeah, I stand by that comment - it's an objective fact. I didn't say it was a bad move.

2. My RB's are soft: I can see how you might say that Bradshaw & Bush are soft, but not AP or Jackson.
Maybe the word "soft" was the wrong choice. Those dudes all run hard. I was shocked at how effective Reggie Bush was until he got hurt. Therein lies the problem. AP had a massive knee reconstruction after he tore his ACL and MCL. He played 12 games last year and didn't break 1000 yards. Both him and Bush are probable for this week, and Bradshaw and Bush both missed games this season. They all get hurt. 

As for Sjax, you showed some good stats about games played and frankly I was shocked that Jackson started that many games.I am going to go a little deeper on his record. My gut instinct is that Jackson gets hurt  a lot and I want to find out for sure. 

Here is a breakdown of Sjax in terms of games started versus games where he actually performed as a RB1. So yeah, I guess he does start more games than I thought. He had a couple of rough years in 2007-2008, and last year was not great either. But I guess he doesn't get as hurt as much as I think he he does. Foot meet mouth. 



Year Games started Games with a RB1 level contribution
2011 15 13
2010 16 16
2009 15 15
2008 12 11
2007 12 12
2006 16 16
2005 15 15
AVG 14.43 14


Enough of that. On to more important things...

COWs!




Josh's Weekly Rant





I know everyone celebrated the TD toss by Drew Brees and passing John U’s record and all but I couldn’t help but think how unbelieveable it is that he set that record in the 60’s when yo could basically assult WR’s the entire length of the field. Not to mention the fact that QB’s were treated like any other player back then and they got pounded into oblivion.


I said the power ranking are a waste of time till about Week 8 but….Well where is the fun in waiting and being rational with these things.


1. 49ers
2. Texans
3. Falcons
4. Ravens
5. Bears

...

28.Buccaneers
29. Raiders
30. Titans
31.Browns
32. Jaguars 


                                               
3. You’ve probably heard the Herm Edwards story by now… he speaks at the rookie symposium every year about what to watch out for in the NFL and he has a saying…”Nothing good happens after 2am”! I apply this philosophy when it comes to any of the sports teams I follow, and if nothing good can happen, I walk away. So with 6:00 minutes left and the ball going back to the Steelers, at home, desperate for a win… I knew that either the Eagles find a way to hang on and win in which case I don’t need to see anymore, or they lose a heartbreaker on the road which for my own sanity, I also don’t need to see. You know how that story ends!


 

4. Someone explain to me how the defense is getting the bulk of the blame for the loss? Pretty sure that if you told me before the game that they would hold the Steelers to less than 17 points I’d take that in a heartbeat. Quick, name the teams who have scored less points than the Eagles through 5 game….. Answer: 1, the Jacksonville “God-awful” Jaguars!

 
“Uh oh, this doesn’t seem right…” 

5. I realize that Nick Foles is not a realistic option right now with a team that is 3-2, even if they are 3 plays away from being 0-5, but I don’t think it’s crazy to think that this team couldn’t have the exact same record if Foles was the QB. Vick has more turnovers than all but 4 TEAMS in the NFL. At this point anything other than an NFC Champ game and I think Vick is gone this year. If Christian Ponder can do it… Foles could too. 




6. Please tell me I wasn’t the only one who saw Andy pull the plug on Vick’s line check down on the goal line before he hit Celek for the TD? More evidence that Vick is unable to make a pre-snap read.

Also… how retarded must you be to be physically unable to slide…?


 

“Who you callin retarded…?”




I'm too tired for game recaps. Sorry. 

Here is the league leader SackedBySuggs on his honeymoon...congrats! Nate - you're up next.