Sunday, September 16, 2012

Title of Blog

The funny thing about one of these posts is that the Title is the first thing you try to write, and you have literally no idea what the post is going to be about. If this were an essay in high school, I would be establishing my "main idea" in this first paragraph. The main idea of this blog post is ramble about fantasy football, make fun of my friends, and post up pictures of cheerleaders. 


Game 1: The Headliner

Week 1 is in the bag, and there were some hard fought, early season matchups. The marquee matchup of the week was Dammit Jim Vs. Ron Fucking Swanson. Swanson's entire team was wrapped up after the 1pm game on Sunday, establishing a 105 point lead on Dammit Jim. Even Vick, who threw more interceptions than the rest of the NFL combined, couldnt slow him down.  It was a long weekend until Monday night and the Ravens vs. the Bengals where Dr. Jim had several players remaining. Ironically, the Ravens are SO good that the game got out of hand and they had to bench Rice, and the Bengals benched Green.
Yahoo has some pretty cool stat features now - go to week one and click Game Recap

The impressive 101 point comeback ended just a little short. It looks like karmic retribution has already been dealt to Ron Swanson however, but more on that later.

Someone besides Pat is happy about Peyton Manning

Game 2: Still got it...

Riding on the shoulders of aging giants, Dick Trickle held out against Brady's Bunch. Led by Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Santana Moss, Steven Jackson and Antonio Gate, Trickle matched last season's win count in dramatic last minute fashion. It came down to a TE matchup. Brady's only hope was that Gates got hurt early, but he waited a least a quarter or two, and caught some balls before getting injured. Let the season long "will Gates play this week?" drama begin...I am glad that is someone else's cross to bear this year. 

Game 3: Who needs RBs?

Another tough matchup this week between Buffalo Renaissance and Vinegar Strokes. Both teams coming off a bit of a rebuilding year last year, carrying title hopes. No players in the Wednesday game, but Buffalo jumped out to a solid lead after the 1pm games Sunday and never relinquished it. The big question coming out this matchup is who is more upset about FJax's injury. The distraught Buffalo fan, or the distraught fantasy owner?

Paul - DeAngelo Williams sent this to you on twitter...
No need to state the obvious big D.

Game 4: Payback for stealing Dan Bailey

Arian Brotherhood (officially the best team name in the league now) put up scary numbers against last years runner up, Time Is Yours. Time had a lead after the Wed game, but was buried by mid-afternoon Sunday. Personally, I think this is a misleading game, at least on the side of Time is Yours. Demaryius Thomas, and McFadden were solid. And now that  Time has cleared out the fat and picked up a bunch of waiver fodder, I am sure things will straighten out this week with a...LOSS, cause he is playing me. Tough break. On the plus side, the world's second most fragile player (more on the #1 coming up) took about 142 touches in the most horizontal offense ever run and lived to tell the tale...

Game 5: "About to get married" Bowl. 

The final matchup of the week was SackedByTheMemoryofSuggs versus Cunning Linguists. This was a bit of a beatdown, and not even Janikowski could pull out the win for the Linguists. Statistical highlights include the largest margin of victory of the week at 37 points. I especially enjoyed the minimal production from one Wes Welker. If I can't have him and his dreamy blue eyes then NO ONE CAN!

I look good but unless my better looking QB throws me the ball, it stops there...

Now, on to some brief discussion of Week 2, and other random crap. First, there was some good banter on the boards this week, and I would like to add to one discussion here. 

Shit Eagles Fans Say:

Josh gave us a good list of stupid crap Eagles fans (THE MOST PASSIONATE AND INTELLIGENT FOOTBALL FANS IN THE COUNTRY) say. Yes, people on TV actually say that. 

1) Eagles need to run the ball more

2) Andy Reid is a bad play caller

3) The offensive line can't protect Vick

4) The Eagles are terrible drafters

5) The Eagles should sign Plaxico Burress

and I added...

6) We are going to lose this week

But now I have another addition. And this one is legit. 

7) Let Vick be Vick. 

OK yeah lets do that. I was listening to Talk radio in Philly - always a dangerous prospect - and the general question was what can Michael Vick really do different? What followed was a string of phone calls from total morons saying Vick is instinctual, Vick is a fantastic athlete, just let Vick do his thing...

Here is my response, stolen from the internet (@ in case you are wondering)

If Darren McFadden is a Mazda Miata - Michael Vick is a Smart Car. The Eagles are the favorite today against the Ravens, which is understandable because they are an explosive team with a seemingly solid defense. That being said, if Vick elects to not slide today, he is going to get hurt. Fortunately for Josh, he always has Jay Cutler as a backup...

"He's a man, he can be hit like the rest of us"

and finally....

It's a Broncos-themed week...

Our Cheerleader of the Week (COW) hails from Wheatland, Iowa and is in her second year as a Bronco's cheerleader. Jessica Rosen says she was born to be a cheerleader. "I was really good at sports. Like real sports, not cheering. I was all-state track and field, and a national champion in basketball and field hockey." 
When asked why she did not pursue those sports, Jessica said "I'd rather put on a tiny outfit and shake my ass at 60,000 people in the dead of winter and freezing temperatures than play in the WNBA." 
And so here we are...

and now a real COW - apparently I did not come up with this idea. 

Still looking for a guest blogger, or some alternate draft grades. Also, Shust, Paul, Nate and Travis are all that remain on dues. Info in on the league site. 

1 comment:

  1. i think the cheerleader backstories might be my favorite part... that and of course winning!