Saturday, September 22, 2012

You know what I hate?

What is the point of a blog if you cannot bitch about things that really annoy you? There is no point. So in no particular order, here are ten things that annoy me...

1. People who honk at you for not going fast enough when you are going over the speed limit. I was going up 476 today, in a 40mph zone, going 65mph and a guy honked at me because the guy next to me (in the left lane) was going 65mph as well. There are about 100 other road/driving related items, but that is not even entertaining to read. 
2. Facebook - I have tried to quit FB entirely but Jen said that I can't because people will think her husband is made up. Seriously, our culture has reached the point that if you do not have a Facebook page, you simply DO NOT EXIST. Sorry Paul but it seems you are some sort of false-person. 
Another thing that sucks about FB is the kind of crap that pops up in my newsfeed thingy. A sizable portion of it is pictures of Pat's kid, which is fine, and Josh's dinner (hipster-ized), which is acceptable. The rest is stupid random crap. See below. Why can't "Peg ________" resist clicking on these links? 

3. Almost every NFL announcer in existence. I hate to say it, but Kenny, Moose and Goose are my favorites. Billick is good too, but he is like 4th string on CBS. 
4. Communism. What a terrible idea. 
5. Ohio State.  Josh got me thinking about this as we were discussing the Michigan-ND game. We have some pretty intense college football fans in our league. Paul (Navy), Josh (Michigan), Pat and Nate (ND), John (WVU), and Matt (Lehigh...haha jk). Growing up in a college football free home, and being a Drexel alum, I never really had a college football team. For a while I tried to get into Michigan. Long history, winning tradition, produced Tom Brady (swoons...) etc were all good reasons. But you really cannot just pick a team, even if you are really missing out. So I was watching the game tonight and found I just did not care. However, I still really hate Ohio State. That is never going away. I cannot explain why, but its a deep-seeded and intense hatred.
6.  Randomly having rappers on songs that are not rap. It's like putting mustard on a slice of cake. 
7. Cam Newton - alternatively, inconsistency. 
8. That game where you had to decide between two terrible things. "How would you rather die - being force fed wet sand until your digestive tract becomes obstructed and explodes filling your body with bacteria and bile, causing substantial pain, sepsis and eventually death OR being tied to a pier at low tide and having to wait for the tide to come in and drown you (Note: there are Jellyfish and crabs present)?" This is how I feel about elections. 



9.  People who put tons of sugar and creamer in their coffee, besides my wife. 
10. Steelers, Patriots, Bengals, Browns, Jets, Colts, Chargers, Christina Aguiliera, Giants, Cowboys, and Manchester United. 


WEEK 2 Highlights


So week 2 is in the books, and the results are surprising, in my mind. The two highest scorers are 1-1 and are stuck in 3rd and 4th overall.  The two teams that are 2-0 finished in the bottom half of the league last year. This all goes to show that in the crazy world of fantasy football, the first two weeks don't mean shit. 

Beer break ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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And I am back. Sam Adams Fall Sampler is the best.....


Game 1: The SHOCKER.

No one saw this coming, but Vinegar Strokes - without keeper Fred Jackson - holds on to beat current Champion Ron F'ing Swanson. Ron decided to start Jay Cutler (never a good idea, cause he is a total fruit cake) and it certainly paid dividends, to the tune of 2 points. From Thursday night on, Josh was pretty sure that he was not going to make it up. He was right. Congrats on the big win, Travis. I can only imagine how it feels to start a QB on Thursday and have them TOTALLY SUCK. Oh wait....

waaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Game 2: When it Rains...

Wow. Two guys with goose eggs, 1pt from another - 6 from his QB. Pat could do no right, and his winning streak comes to an end. Interestingly, this abysmal performance masked a subpar performance by Arian Brotherhood who failed to meet the wildly conservative Yahoo predictions. Five guys in single digits...and his top scoring WR was Malcom Floyd.

Game 3: SackedByUpshaw Spill-ers blood. 

Paul did everything he could to lose - including starting defensive powerhouse Oakland. Tough break losing Aaron Hernandez because what the world needs is more self-important NE players...Luckily for Paul, he may hate NE more than me so at least there is some silver lining in the loss of his keeper. Chris continues to ride the CJ Spiller train to victory town, though I am reading that when FJax comes back he will be right in the mix. The big question, will he start Welker against his beloved Ravens? Also, are you dressing up as Sack Lodge for Halloween? CRABCAKES AND FOOTBALL!

Pop that collar to complete the look! Are there little lobsters stitched into those shorts? 
(I am just jealous)




Paul - This is from Deangelo Williams - Good call benching him in week 2 and 3


Game 4: Holy points. 

I scored 177 points. Thats awesome. Last year's runner-up is 0-2. These things will change, sadly for me. 


Game 5: Does Brady know what CunningLinguists is?

I think not. This was a close matchup, but in the end, Brady's bunch held on for the win, validating that stupid team name. I really hope Pollard rips off Tom Brady's leg and beats Gronkowski to death with it this weekend so that Matt has to change his team name. Here is a Frommer's fun fact - Brent Celek beat his prediction by 223%. Maybe that soft zone the ravens were playing was a bad idea...hopefully Bill Belichik was not watching the game or getting any ideas. 

Other stuff:


Well Michael Vick survived week 2. The Ravens did not get much penetration (just the tip, just to see how it feels, or ouch! ouch! you're on my hair), and Vick played well. Still, I think we should consider Vick Bingo. 


Can you count the movie references in this blog? 


I just bought out trophy - it will be a surprise though. Do you guys trust me? 

COW


Before this week's COW, I just thought I would share a little history regarding the COW. The COW started when I was a first time Commish for an ESPN league. The purpose of this league was to get people I was friends with into Fantasy Football, so it was free and just a friendly competition. Turns out when there is no money involved, most people don't care. So I started writing a weekly writeup and packing it full of pictures of cheerleaders. I can say that the inspiration came from Nate's perennial league with his friends, who take it far above and beyond what we do here. It's something to aspire to.  The trophy will help. 


It sorta looks like her boobs just hit her in the face...why is no one else's hair flying around?

Good angle.


Katinka Martikaloya was extremely pleased to be nominated as this weeks COW. "First I think you mean cow, like mooo and I am angry, but then you say no moooo and I am very honored." Katinka has been living in the United States for just 2 months, but does not miss anything about her hometown of Omsk, Russia. "I was happy to make acquaintance of a man on the interweb who paid for me to be his wife. In his picture he was very pretty like a mannish-lady who wears wooly girl boots and he said he was rich. Look, here is his interweb picture."


When she got to America someone explained that he was the quarterback of a football team and that he was married to a brazilian supermodel and likely did not pay for her to come to America, Katinka was confused. "I was like 'Wait dis lady-man is not to be my husband?' " She was fortunate that the Patriots Organization offered her a work visa and a job as a cheerleader. "They explain that all American women stand in a big field and jump and yell while men touch each other."




2 comments:

  1. at least you hate OSU, that's half the battle. Also, yes ND won and that's all that matters but... they stink! +4 in turnovers, 3 in the red zone and a missed field goal, at home and you barely hang on to beat a middle of the road UM team. Color me un-impressed.

    Jay Cutler...damn you!

    HOT ROUTE...HOT ROUTE!

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    Replies
    1. Nate doesn't read the blog, but you might get a comment out of Pat on your ND discussion.

      Correct - there are two (now three) references to Wedding Crashers. There is another movie reference too. A little more obscure...

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