Friday, April 19, 2013

The Dance

So for those who don't know, from August until January this is the home of the University City Fantasy Athletic Club (UCFAC) Fantasy League blog (feel free to peruse the old entries, and join the waiting list for the league if you like - just send me your fantasy football resume).

However, in the offseason, the blog becomes a desolate, barren wasteland of emptiness.

Until now. 

I am sure all the pictures associated with this won't bring my blog any extra traffic at all. None. 

This year, the Dance is changing, and we must change with it. Online voting, dodgy scouting reports, and some suspect initial matchups were thrown into the mix. I am simply aiming to append the entire process with unsolicited and most likely never-ever-to-be-viewed commentary.

First order of business - your brackets.

In past years, it have always been a drawback that you cannot see anyone else's brackets. The obvious reason is that it greatly reduces ones capacity to trash talk others for moronic picks (of which there are many). So without further ado, I give to you the LEAGUE BRACKETS.

I would like to award Gold Stars to the following people for sending me their brackets, appropriately named, and without sarcasm or unneeded commentary on my rules:

  • Erin 
  • Brian 
  • Kim 
  • Susan 
  • Jen 
Negative gold star awarded to Ehsan for sending me the email that the KJRAM sent him, and not a PDF of his actual bracket (Update: this has been rectified)

Negative gold star to me for forgetting to get Nate's bracket off my work computer. Nate - send it again, or it'll have to wait until next week.  We all know Adriana "DogFace" Lima is your winner. (Historical context for the new people - Nate used to be a big fan of Adriana Lima despite the fact that she TANKED every year in the dance, earning her the moniker "DogFace")

Figure 1: Took a while to find a picture where she didn't look fantastic - check the unaltered filename on this one. 

Once I get the full collection of brackets, I will put my PhD to good use and do some statistical analysis. Maybe if I get adventurous I will calculate everyone's likelihood of winning at the end of each major round. 

As evident from Figure 2, the overwhelming favorite is SI Swimsuit cover model Kate Upton (Figure 3) with 8 of us selecting her to win the whole thing. Last year, she finished second to Lucy Pinder, who was not picked by anyone ironically. 

Figure 2: Predicted Winners

Figure 3: Kate Upton 

In a distant second, the crowd favorite is Mila Kunis, seen below in Figure 4. Personally, I don't see it, but it's about what the masses will vote for, not the individual. 

Figure 4: Mila Kunis
Josh is apparently much better at Fantasy Football than picking out which woman is more attractive according to people who generally live in the Seattle area, listen to AM radio and have time to vote on the internet. His winner, Holly Sonders, is long gone - losing the very first matchup. This is a previously unprecedented level of poor performance that really cannot be topped. 

Matt - apparently still stuck in 2007 - selected Alessandra Ambrosia. I think she has a chance this year buddy. She just needs to market herself as vintage. Theme song - Thrift Shop by Mackelmore. 

Figure 5: I'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 Brazilian real in my overalls...

One brave soul, newcomer Drew, fresh off his win in the actual Big Dance bracket competition, selected Jennifer Lawrence of Hunger Games and Silver Linings Playbook fame. I like this pick a lot. I feel like she has a good shot of being an upset win. That being said, he could become the first person in Dance history to pick the winner and lose the office pool...rough first couple rounds. 

Future blog topics will potentially include:
  • Couples Analysis: The couple that picks hot chicks together, stays together...
  • Full bracket breakdowns
  • History of the Dance 101: Examples include...
    • Allison Stokke
    • The Power of Jessica
    • Good Morning Barb
    • First year curse
  • A critique of the meta-data, data flows, data fusion, user interface/experience, ConOps and the lack of a query-based data archival system (aka the shitty scouting website)

I know that I tend to be the only person who knows everyone else in the pool, but that doesn't mean you cannot heckle one another. 

1 comment:

  1. I am gonna have to blame Google on this as upon further review, it seems as tho a good deal of the images that come up for Holly Sonders, are in fact NOT Holly Sonders! Who knew. I'll have to console myself with a frosty brew from my FF championship trophy.

    I'm def a Mila fan and the Jessica's (A & B)... I would also like to see the super model stricken from the competition.