Tuesday, August 27, 2013

RIP Live Draft Blog and Draft Grades

I had to lay the live blog to rest. And with it, the draft grades. I will provide the following justifications, which none of you will likely read:


The live blog was really fun for me the first two seasons. Let's take stock of where my life was at both points.

August 2011 - I am a newly married man, just returned from nearly a month in Hawaii. Our league is brand new, and I am more excited about this than just about anything else, save my new marriage, and potentially moving out of my mother-in-law's house. I am gearing up for a final push on the PhD, but I am still in a post-wedding lull. What was the best way to fill that lull? Mock drafts and research. And so I did. Come draft day, I was so ready I could have been composing a symphony while drafting. I may have been over-prepared, take sleepers 2-3 years too early (see leonard hankerson).

Jump to August 2012 - Just moved into a new house and started a new job, but work is slow. Hitting 40 hours of billable work a week was nearly impossible. House projects were moving but slowly. But Jen was just starting her intern year of residency, and I think I saw her when she was conscious for about 4 hours a week. This afforded me free time to occupy with preparing jokes and assorted material, practicing constructing google searches to rapidly identify pictures to be included in the blog, and again to prepare my team. There was a serious decline in quality already apparent between 2011 and 2012...

August 2013 - As my draft indicates, I was not ready this year. I jumped on an 8th round (at best) WR in the 5th, and I have no #1 fantasy WRs at all. I also picked a defense who is playing multiple players on my roster in week 1. Sigh.

Now let's extrapolate that out to include the side effects of trying to keep up with a live blog. Here is how my draft would have gone.

1. AP
2. Larry Johnson
3. Joe Flacco
4. Andy Reid
5. Leonard Hankerson
6. RG3
7. Leonard Hankerson
8. Missed entirely
9. David Akers
10. Tears...

For the good of the league, I skipped the blog. The downside is that we don't have all the magical moments captured for posterity. I would love to say that I would remember them, but I was way too drunk. They don't call me One Beer Weidner for nothing...


Now regarding Draft Grades, I was called out last year for making draft grades and then grading the draft grades midseason. This was identified by a league member as the source of my unfortunate luck and eventual failure. Well I am not a believer in much, but I do believe in Voodoo, jinxes, curses, and the Fantasy Football Gods, and if something like that was vocalized, I have to believe it is true. So I am not going to do grades.

I will however comment on the grades provided by Yahoo. If you did not see these they are located on the draft page on the right hand side. Our grades ranged from B+ to C-. What does this really mean? Well to me it means that they scale by which Yahoo assigns grades is referenced to some global standard that we are not privy to. I imagine that this standard is the world's greatest fantasy football team, comprised of #1 and #2 ranked players at each fantasy position only. On the other end, if you get a failing draft grade then you must have drafted the Cleveland Browns.

The global reference makes little sense. Or maybe letter grades don't make sense. It is just that we are stuck in the letter grade mindset that has been forged over numerous years but really means nothing. If Yahoo had said a 100 is the ultimate mega team, and a 0 is the Cleveland Browns, and we all got in the 70-80 range, that makes sense to me. It's a competitive league and we all draft fairly well. So that is my draft assessment.

According to Yahoo, we are ranked as follows in terms of our quality of Draft:

1. Josh
2. Matt
3. Nate
4. Jeff
5. Chris
6. Pat
7. Paul
8. John P.
9. Travis
10. John S.

Yahoo does provide a strength of schedule discussion in their assessment. Guess who has the easiest schedule? Josh. Wtf.

The Al Davis Award

While I made a solid case with Torrey Smith in the 3rd and Tavon Austin in the 5th, I am going to say that the worst pick was Vick Ballard as a keeper, by Shooostie. Yahoo ranks that as his 4th RB.I guess if you have to keep someone only to meet league rules, it might as well be a low-ranked guy, but I think you had better keepers. I think that is why he ended up so low in Yahoo ranks. It makes me feel good that he has the projected least prolific group of WRs in the league as well, because I was pretty sure that was me too.


Jen, before retirement, was a Fantasy Champion. She left for her residency on top, taking home the top prize in an estrogen fueled cat fight of a league. Jen built her fantasy career on savvy waiver and free agent moves, never really putting any stock in trades. Therefore, the award will go to the team that gets the biggest impact from Free Agent pickups. Yes this will be a massive pain in the ass for me to calculate, but what can you do. Debating on whether it is weekly, monthly, or total season.

As for names, it turns out that she is not so great at making them up. So, we have a few options...
  1. The "I'm Better at This too" Award - named for her championship team
  2. One Woman's Trash is Every Man's Treasure - because her free agent castoffs are better than your pickups
  3. The "I see way more ***** than you guys" Award - she will not like this one
  4. The Soup Group Award - my personal favorite, relating to the League and the guy who belongs to a group who forage for ingredients to make soup


For the first time in two years, I do not have to talk about Dues in the blog. thanks.


I am currently investigating the feasibility of using the our some of our trophy excess money (perhaps a front on next years dues) to get the trophy plated or chromed. I will get an idea on cost first, but I think that the Old Bear might benefit from a little nip/tuck action. In subsequent years, we can discuss expanding the base up a bit.


  1. New dads (Shust and Josh)
  2. New houses (Nater and maybe Travis)
  3. New jobs (Matty cakes)
  4. New ladies (LOOKING AT YOU MATT)
  5. New dogs (Nate)
  6. Successful seasons in real football (Chris and Me)
  7. Mediocre seasons in real football (All you Eagles fans and probably Paul - sorry bro)
  8. A New Champion - See last blog from last season 
  9. Team Name Assessment circa 2011 - coming soon
  10. GIFs


Top Ten Reasons I need to be Sober While Drafting

  1. The smell...
  2. My 3rd pick - which I nearly missed and totally panicked on
  3. Passing out on Pat's couch 17 seconds post-draft
  4. Trying to stay awake as to not get sharpied
  5. Smoking Arturo Fuente Cigars
  6. The taste in my mouth that resulted from Arturo Fuente Cigars
  7. Many things I likely said but do not remember
  8. Tavon Austin
  9. Admitting a sleeper pick was pulled right from Christopher Harris' article cause he answered me on Twitter once (see below)

And a special thank you to Shust for making me deposit this at my bank...

(Don't worry I cropped out account info, took a screenshot, then redacted your address and then took another screenshot, so it's a picture within a picture within a picture...but we need to go deeper)


  1. Quality work right out of the gate from the commish... I was getting a little annoyed there were no images since I only read books with pictures, thankfully the panda saved the day.

    I am going to go a bit against the Yahoo grain here and say that i think Pat and Paul both had good drafts that earned better than middle of the road grades IMO.

  2. Ditto the comment regarding quality work from the Commish out of the gate. I was horribly disappointed to miss the live version of this draft (sounded like a blast) and will make every effort to attend next year.

    Anybody happen to hear the BS Report where Bill Simmons called any FF group that uses standard drafting vs auction "mental midgets." He then went on to comparing standard drafting like having sex with your wife using 17 condoms ("you know you don't need to do that, you can take 16- or 17 of those off...). Matthew Berry chimed in that it was "checkers vs chess." Anybody want to debate migrating to auction? I've never attempted an auction draft and have to admit my curiosity. I am also perfectly happy shamelessly carrying on as a "mental midget." Thoughts?

  3. And the "make Jeff do more work" starts rolling again...

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  5. I've been waiting for this all weekend...well done commish.

    I vote nay on the auction, especially since we already have keepers. Trying to migrate keepers in terms of picks to keepers in terms of auction $$ will cause Jeff to flip us a double bird and leave the league.

    Also, Bill and Berry also said, why wear any condom at all, that's the whole point of getting married

  6. Somehow the second part of my post got cut off.

    I also second that Paul had a good draft.

    Finally, I see that the commish has already dropped his "deep sleeper" and he also dropped that RB that I told him was suspended and he said "no problem, not worried about that at all."

  7. Pead was suspended for one week, so yeah no problem. Encyclopedia NFL over there told me four weeks, which still wasn't a problem.

    The Rams announcing Richardson as a clear starter is more of a problem...

  8. which is why i wanted Richardson in the first place.. damnit! Is Hankerson still out there?