Sunday, September 22, 2013

Hi, my name is Jeff, and I am an Eagles fans...

I like salads. They are typically good for you. There is an infinite number of combinations of things that can go in a salad. So you want a reason to eat hard boiled eggs, celery, blue cheese, and chicken? Put it on a salad. So you want to feel good about eating a steak? Slice it up and put it on a salad. Moreover, almost everyone likes salad to some degree. Some people really love it. You can get a salad anywhere. Salad is a good thing. I like salad.

Would you pay $36 for a salad?
This salad costs $36. Full of seemingly delicious ingredients, but maybe not worth the money

However, I do not like salad more than I like real food. Salad is not my favorite food. I like the flexibility of the salad, of having the readily available Plan B. Salad is maybe best for me as a side dish, an accompaniment to the main course.  When it comes down to it, I will take my steak (on a plate) with salad on the side.

For me, the Philadelphia Eagles are salad. They are the readily available, palatable alternative to my Baltimore Ravens-flavored T-bone. I have been in/around Philadelphia for nearly half my life at this point, and it is difficult to not get wrapped up in something so all-encompassing. So without further delay, here are the reasons I like salad:

  1. Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend - Before 1996, the only team in my area was the Redskins. It was a good time for the Redskins, but I really never got into them. When the Browns became the Ravens, I became a Ravens fan. Around the same time, Redskins fans became dicks. Combined with the local rivalry, I hate the Redskins. Fast-forward to the Super Bowl in 2000 between the  Ravens and the Giants.I am a freshman at Drexel, and it turns out there is large population of Giants fans at Drexel. Giants fans are dicks too. I had to endure two weeks of game management Trent Dilfer comments, Ray Lewis murder comments, and general animosity. Well we win, and I forever hate the Giants. I also, obviously hate the Cowboys. And you guys hate the Steelers. It's a win-win.
  2. Fantasy Relevance - Outside of the Ravens, my favorite part of football is fantasy football, and the Eagles provide plenty of fantasy fodder. Mike Vick, LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson are the big names, but even going back to McNabbulous, Terrell Owens, and Brian Westbrook there have been some awesome fantasy quantities. It's much easier to watch a team every week when you have something to root for. (sorry about ending that sentence in a preposition)
  3. Bandwagon FTW - It's so easy to root for a winner. When the Eagles are good, the entire city becomes a more pleasant place to be. Race lines fade away, people stop at stop signs, and SEPTA still runs late, but no one seems to care. 
  4. Free Stuff - If the Eagles win, we all get free coffee from Dunkin Donuts. In the past, we have gotten free pizza from Papa Johns and Free Tacos from Taco Bell. Free stuff = awesome. 
  5. Self-preservation - It's not easy being a football fan in a different city than the one where your team plays. You rarely see games, no one knows what the hell you are talking about when you want to discuss your team. I have to be able to hold an Eagles-driven conversation. 
Here are some of my favorite Eagles moments (I am sure there are better ones out there, but these come to mind):
  1. McNabbulous playing with broken ankle
  2. 4th and 26
  3. Beating Vick and the Falcons
  4. Sheldon Brown hit on Reggie Bush
  5. How did this get here?
So when steak isn't on the menu, I can settle for a salad. 

Thursdays game was tough, but on the upside, we there was a Kool-Aid Man siting....

"Oh no. OH NO! OH YEAH!!!" <----worth a click

Week 3 Update

Last week's games left us with three teams at 2-0. No surprise that Gatorade me, Bitch! is up there after two year of success. Hey Buddy! snuck in with a tight win over Initials, and then a week 2 no-show from the Golden Eagles. I don't want to say it's a surprise, because that would be insulting, but I am pleased to see Farley's Fiddlers are 2-0, despite the fact that it came at my expense. In November 2011, I wrote the following:
Fell Off My Dinosaur is setting an amazing example for the rest of us, still making moves, still trying to win, despite his incredible record of 0-9. I have never seen anything like it...
Well those moves led to his current success. So it's bittersweet, but  I am happy to see Pat at 2-0.

Travis and I had a crazy-tight match-up which I thought I had won on literally the last play of the last game of the week. Then, sure enough, a stat correction came in and we ended up in a tie. 

Glenside put up very big big in fact that I had to consult the record books. Glenside's 160 points represents his third highest point total in league history, putting up 161 and 164 in 2011. Congrats Glenside, and clearly you should never be involved in your drafting. 

Seven teams were right in the 130-150 range. Maybe we finally achieved parity. 

Three teams are not fortunate enough to have a win as of yet. To them, I say:

Maybe throw it to Antonio Brown more often. Dick. 

Who is going to lost to Shust first? 

This week's contestant is SackedBySuggs. He is off to a good start with Shust getting only 3 points from Salad starter Brent Celek. The fate's may align for Shust this week, as the rumor is he is going to be a dad really soon. Shustie I am pulling for you...


This kind of joy can only come when your team annihilates the reigning NFC Champions, holding Anquan to a mere 1pt. 

I'm not wearing anything beneath this pom-pom

It was a windy day, so the cheerleaders holding the flag were selected based on ballast-ability. 

1 comment:

  1. welcome to the fold Jeff.. unfortunately you have to deal with watching the biggest con-artist in the game today, one Mike Vick. Still pretending to be a quarterback for the last decade or so.

    Andy Reid and the WKU Hillertopper must have been separated at birth!